Thursday, June 30, 2011

Never get off the Ride

"It had been a simple misunderstanding. All I had suggested was that Jesus Christ had been a mistake, that was all: an unplanned pregnancy.
'Unplanned indeed!' screamed the vicar. 'And where did you get such blasphemous filth, you ungodly child?'
'I don't know,' I said, 'just an idea.'
'Just an idea?' he repeated. 'Do you honestly think God loves those who question his divine plan? Well, I'll tell you missy, he does not,' and his arm shout out and pointed toward my banishment. 'Corner,' he said..."
(When God was a Rabbit pg. 9)

I'm not one for violence. I like to consider myself a fairly levelheaded person. But just as I was getting engrossed in Sarah Winman's debut novel yesterday, I found the above passage she had written. Having become hooked, I now know that this occurrence was one of many that shaped a young girl's faith, or lack thereof, in God. However, I can honestly say that I want to smack that vicar in the face. Hard. (Something that might prove difficult given the fact that he only exists on the page.)

I suppose my desire to exercise what little force I have in my arms comes from an even stronger desire to do the same to the very real vicars in my own life. In my humanness I see those people as needing a wake up being misled or stubborn. See the thing that really angers me about that vicar is the pedestal he's put himself on. I found one of those generic quotes online the other day that explains what I'm trying to say: Christians aren't perfect, they're just saved.

I don't mind admitting that there have been days when I've had my own doubts about God's plan...I've questioned Him and His purpose for me and I've wondered what if there's something else for me? But that doesn't make me ungodly. I'm not perfect -no Christian is. Heck, no human is. We have fears, we have burdens, and we have inner struggles.

The beauty of Christianity is that at the end of the day, there's someone we can take all of those fears, burdens, and inner struggles to. I know that if I go to Him and say hey, today's been a rough one. I know you're there, I just need some assurance right now, He'll give it to me. As one of my pastors so wonderfully said, (don't you just love when somebody else's words are there to help at just the right time?) We can have doubts/fears as we get on the ride, but the important part is that we never get off it. Provided we're set on seeing the journey through to completion, He'll be there to ensure we make it.

So take that vicar.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hello World

There was a time when I was perfectly content to stay within the comfort of my mum's arms - free of worry, full of comfort, and surrounded by her warmth. There was a time when I was perfectly content to sit on my daddy's shoulders and view everything from up there - safe from the monsters under my bed, the insults of mean girls, and the reality that life can be messy.

And then I grew up. The dolls and stuffed animals were shelved, sitting there like benched team players, temporarily forgotten in the midst of new circumstances: high school, a cell phone, boys, spats with best friends etc. As I approached freshman-hood I no longer wanted to settle for the cozy confines of the nest I'd grown up in. I wanted to embrace being a teenager and experience the world for myself.

But as I prepare for my last year of high school (tear) I realize that I don't particularly like most of the world that I've experienced. As someone who is developing a relationship with her creator, learning how to love like He loves, I cringe at the selfishness, the greed, the lust, and the hatred that fills the atmosphere around me.

So I've made the decision to join the 21st century in this new fan-dangled thing called blogging as a way of reflecting on who I am, what I'm learning, and who I want to be. I'm blogging in order to share my thoughts and opinions, and I'm blogging because there's something everyone should understand - that the key to a life full of wonder and satisfaction is in loving, "...the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." ~Mathew 22:37 If our world could get what a place it would be. So hi world wide web. Prepare for the heartfelt ramblings of Amy.