Sunday, September 4, 2011

Struggling

Just when everything in life seems to be perfect, God has a habit of throwing us a curve ball. I have been so blessed with my boyfriend - the joy he's brought me is indescribable and I love him to pieces. And yet that relationship - the one that has stood firm and been absolutely wonderful - has been damaged. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that something as mundane as school would throw us off course. But it has. Stress is a nasty little guy, and as I sit here, wanting to gorge on ice cream and unable to keep back the tears, I'm trying to think of what I did to deserve this. A little part of me says it'll all be okay and I'll look back on this time and laugh. Part of me is worried sick and clinging onto all of the memories in a desperate attempt at avoiding the overwhelming emotions.

And then part of me is humming the same song over and over again. My thoughts are all over the place tonight, but if there's one thing that I keep coming back to it's these lyrics:

Love of My life
Look deep in My eyes
There you will find what you need
Give Me your life
The lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from Me

You're My beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
My Love it unites us
And it binds you to Me
It's a mystery

Love of My life
Look deep in My eyes
There you will find what you need
I'm the Giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh, come running home to Me

You're My beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
My Love it unites us
and it binds you to Me

Well, you've been a mistress, My wife
Chasing lovers that won't satisfy
Won't you let Me make you My bride
You will drink of My lips
And you'll taste new life

You're My beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
My Love it unites us
And it binds you to Me
It's a mystery


See the thing is, I'm probably the most insecure I've ever been. But in God's word I can find comfort in knowing that when my boyfriend, husband, dad, granddad, let me down...there's a man that will take me in his arms and call me beautiful. There's a man that loves me more than anything, who gave his life for me. There's a man that will hold on tight and right now, that man is the man I'm trying my best to rely on. Because I'm his beloved and that's so much bigger than any quarrel.

2 comments:

  1. Goodness. So true.
    That is one of my favorite songs, and will always be. Beautiful lyrics.
    I'm sorry about all that is happening right now.
    Love,
    Kyla

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  2. Thanks Kyla :)
    I was just taking a gander at your blog - it's so professional! I loved pouring over your words and feeling the warmth from your sweet heart

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